I am going away for awhile, but I’ll be back; don’t try and follow me cause I’ll return as soon as possible. See, I’m trying to find my place, but it might not be here where I feel safe… Now I’m told that this is life, and pain is just a simple compromise. So we can get what we want out of it. Would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted minds? So I can find someone to rely on and run to them, to them. Full speed ahead.
That pesky green-eyed little monster is lurking about. Don’t let him burrow in your head or your heart.
Careful guys; I think my id is showing. :/ I don’t sleep much at all anymore. My thoughts just won’t slow down. Always dreaming, imagining, fantasizing, worrying. Don’t know whether or not to write about it here, but what I DO know out of everything that’s happened recently is that I’m beginning to condone the very thing I can’t stand! I’ve just deteriorated into this lonely, scared little girl, and… I want what I can’t have in more ways than one. Jeff, you were right from the very start, but I’ll keep denying it because I don’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want you to know the truth. I’m not worth the energy, and in a few months nothing’s going to matter much anyway. Haha. XD This always seems to happen to me. I’m just way too susceptible and vulnerable to my feelings and emotions. It’s so very nice to dream though… Hope you can understand that much at least.
You and I have created a special place in our imaginations for each other. Curiosity dwells in every corner, and each day, I anxiously wait for you to travel there with me. It’s not perfect or flawless, and each journey requires a trip back to reality, but it’s all I have to hold onto. You bring me comfort and happiness, as well as shame. Deep down, I know these visions will never materialize and become truth. You have your own path to follow, and I have mine. Desperation has finally taken over my thoughts, and I’ve fallen victim to my darkest wishes. If only I could have you in the real world, the way I want you, then maybe life would be worth living…